Saturday, October 6, 2007

Stop Killing Children!


© 2007 Jennifer Toothman-All Rights Reserved
Edited by My Mom-Susan Maree Jeavons
I am a mother of three beautiful, wonderful children. They are eight, six and three. They are my joys, my hope, and my inspiration in life. I am a stay-at-home mother who has worked before, many long hours. Now I struggle to find a job, along with the other struggles of life. You know, keeping everyone in your home happy. Life is hectic, making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be, checking homework, fixing meals, bringing the goldfish back to life, doing the laundry and trying to find time to say "Hi," to the man you fell in love with and had these children with. So when I tuck my kids in at night and kiss them good night, I do this with great love and hope that they dream of unicorns, rainbows, and happy endings. Once the kids are in bed, I get to watch the TV. When I sit down and hear that yet another mother has killed her babies, I wonder, "How could a mother do this? How could she look into the eyes of her babies and see the life leave them. What brings her to this?"

Just a few days ago in Cleveland, a mother of two was arrested for allegedly killing her two beautiful children by drowning them. Amber Hill, 22, of Cleveland, was a mother just like I am. She had the pressures of life on her plate; work, kids, school and keeping food on the table. What made her take the life of her kids though? Name one mother out there who doesn’t have these stresses, then I will think that it is normal.

Society has allowed it to become normal because, what do we do to these woman? Nothing! We let them plead to insanity, and often give them the bare minimum punishment. What about the life that was taken that no longer has a voice? Who is going to speak out for them?

We have all heard about Andrea Yates, a 37-year-old mother from Houston, Texas who was charged in 2001 for the drowning of seven-year-old Noah, Five-year-old John and six-month-old Mary, three of five of her children. She was for some reason or another, not charged in the drowning of her other two children, three- year-old Luke, and two-year-old Paul. I read an article that stated that she is a fan of Law and Order, and might have been influenced by the show. That is amazing because that is one show that I do not miss. I love this show, so does that mean that at 28-years-old I can’t tell what is the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do? Andrea was a mother who home-schooled her children, thus, she knows that one of the first thing a kindergartner needs to be aware of, is that some things are fiction and some are nonfiction.

We need to teach our children that not all things in life are real, like the unicorns that I want my girls to dream of. To instill this into our children then we must have it in us. We no longer believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny. We know that these are imaginary.

Andrea Yates sentence has been overturned recently due to testimonies. What about the fact that she confessed to these murders? Do we just forget about the children here who have died?


What about the story of Susan Smith, 23, of South Carolina who drowned her two children, three-year-old Michael Daniel Smith, and fourteen-month-old Alexander Tyler Smith? Susan was in the middle of a divorce, and also her boyfriend had just rejected her. She wanted to be relieved from all the stresses of life that overwhelmed her. Her plan was to commit suicide. She felt that the boys would be worse if she didn’t kill them also. For some reason though, something changed at the last minute when she got out of the car and let her boys life go down. She did the unthinkable act. She watched as her babies drowned.


What did society do about this? She got life in prison which is 30 years. She can get out in the year 2024. Both of those children could have lived longer than that. Life to her was so bad that she didn’t want her babies to suffer anymore, so she ended it for them, but to her, her life was not bad enough to end it for her self. That is the most selfish act, to take someone’s life because you don’t think that they should suffer. Were those two little children suffering or were they dreaming of rainbows and unicorns at night?


So now I sit here perplexed as I think of these mothers, and I think how many more are there, what about the ones that we don’t really hear about on the news? There was Mellissa Drexler, often called, “ The Prom mom,” born in 1978 and went to Lacey High School in New Jersey. She was just eighteen and on the day of her senior prom, her water broke. For some reason her reaction was to deliver the baby boy weighing 6lbs. 6oz in the toilet and then proceed to wrap him in garbage bags and throw him away, as if he was garbage.


What made this young girl feel that she could not confide in anyone to seek help? Why is it that we can tell our children not to do things that might harm them, or do things they will regret, but if they do them we don’t make it clear to them to come to us and to talk to us so that together we will work through this? That is what a parent is supposed to do and that is what we are there for. Should a nineteen-year-old girl know what the right thing is to do here? Should motherly instincts kick in no matter how old you are, and should you know not to harm this life that you just brought into this world regardless of your age?
Mellissa was sentenced to only 15 years but was released after only 37 months on parole in 2001. That means that the innocent child that died here was only worth a sentence of 37 months. This is not even equivalent to half of what he could have lived in his life time. Mellissa was released at the young age of 23. She still has so much life out there for her. I have read that she hopes to work in the industry of fashion. Do you think that Melissa ever thought of what her son wanted to grow up to do? At what age does a mother have to become a mother and think not only about the stress that she is going through, but also the stress she is causing her child when she decides to take the life out of there bodies? When will society decide that these woman need to suffer more then they are?


What about Amy Grossberg and Brian Peterson? They received 8 year sentences. Amy had all but two and a half suspended, and Brian had six years suspended. Together they hid the pregnancy from their family at the young age of 18, and delivered their child in a Comfort Inn in Wyckoff, New Jersey, and in a panic, disposed of their baby boy in the motel dumpster. Between the two of these parents, they serviced four and half years for killing an innocent child. Later it was proven that the young boy was delivered alive, and his cause of death was pronounced to be head fractures and shaken baby syndrome. This autopsy proves to me that thought went into the killing of this young child. To shake a baby to death, it takes a lot of time and force. This is when I ask myself, "Why didn’t she stop?"


There are more out there. The more I read, the more I found it is so sad, and the truth is that I haven’t even touched the number of mothers who have killed there young children. That is what is sad. What makes them get reported on-line or on air? Why do we only hear of a few of the cases in our home towns? Why are they not all reported publicly? Who gets to decide which baby is worth honoring and making a story out of?


We then go on to write books, and make movies about these mothers who have done these horrible, unthinkable, life changing crimes. There should be no public sympathy for these woman! We should not feel sorry for the time they lost while in prison. We should think about the time they took away from another life.


There was also Debora Green, an Oncologist living in Prairie Village, Kansas who at the time, was about 44 and had murdered two of her children, Kelly who was 6, and Tim who was 13, by setting fire to her house on October 24th of 1995. She received life imprisonment with a minimum of 40 years before parole. That means she is up for parole in 2035. She will be around 84 years old. I am sure that she has great remorse for what she has caused, but has she thought about those who were also effected. Survivors’ were her husband at the time and her other child, Kate. How does a child grow up with a mother who killed her siblings, and be expected to make it in this world? Do you think that they will ever be able to have a normal life and have a mother-daughter experience, as if nothing ever happened? Green says that SHE wants justice, and would like to "spend time with her surviving daughter Kate." She says she wants a chance to get a job and support herself, and that "things" and the "lifestyle she once had," don't matter after being in prison.


Is it only me who thinks, "What about the child here? Will they ever get the chance to get a job? No they won’t. She took that from them."

What about Kate, does this woman think that Kate wants anything to do with the woman who killed her siblings? Justice? Justice would be to serve her time in prison, but she didn't even get enough time, life with minimum of 40 years before parole! That was two lives who lived a short period that will never even get to see there 40th birthday.


In Schenectady, New York, over a period of fourteen years, Marybeth Tinning, 43, a housewife and school bus driver, lost nine children to sudden death. Jennifer, their third child, was born in December of 1971. Not even one month later she died of severe infection of meningitis. Joseph Jr. died on January 29th of 1972. Doctors were told that he had some kind of seizure and was found in his bed tangled in sheets and blue. Six weeks later Marybeth was back in the hospital with Barbara who was four at the time. She said she had gone into convulsions. Doctors wanted Barbara to stay at the hospital but Marybeth insisted on taking her home. It was several hours later that Barbara died of unknown causes and was listed as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).These three children all died with in 90 days of each other and no one ever thought anything about it, and the story goes on. Thanksgiving day, 1973, the fourth child, Timothy, was born in to this world. Three weeks later, December tenth, he was found lifeless in his crib, and again listed as SIDS. Just two years later, March 30th 1975, Marybeth’s fifth child Nathan was born. On September the 2nd she took him to the hospital yet again, because while driving she said she noticed he had turned blue and was not breathing. There was no explanation for his death. In 1978 the couple was able to adopt a child, and they also became pregnant again. Marybeth gave birth to their sixth child Mary Francis, on October 29th. On February 20th Marybeth went to the hospital again with a unconscious child whom doctors found brain dead. She claimed that she did not know what had happened to her. Mary Francis had a history of seizures. Not letting anytime slip by, Marybeth was pregnant again and gave birth to their 7th child Jonathan, on November 19th. Marybeth was blessed again with another baby boy. After going to the hospital many times and being examined, there was no reason why the baby had been found unconscious before. But on March 24th 1980 he was brought into the hospital brain dead. You do the math here. March 2 1981 Marybeth was in the pediatrician’s office with her adopted son Michael who was only two and half at the time, wrapped in a blanket and unconscious. She told doctors she could not wake him. After examining the child, the doctors found he was already dead. August 22nd 1985 her other child, Tamie Lynn was born. She died on December 19th 1985. Found on a changing room table by a neighbor who was a nurse, this little bundle of joy was lifeless with no pulse.


When I first read this story it took two days for me to realize what I was reading. One mother, nine babies, all died in her care. Marybeth was alone with her children. She was a housewife. I can’t imagine the struggles a mother faces with nine children. But when you are in and out of the same hospital as much as Marybeth was, why didn’t anyone notice this pattern? Why did it take one adopted little innocent boy to make someone realize it was not a genetic disorder that might have cause these deaths? After what I am sure was a long interrogation, Marybeth confessed to smothering three of her children. On July 17th, 1987, Marybeth was convicted of 2nd degree murder and was sentenced to 20 years to life imprisonment in the Bedford Hills prison for woman in New York. Marybeth was eligible for parole in March of 2007, her parole was later denied.


There are more mothers out there that have killed. Some have even gotten away with it. I could go on and write more, give you more names and try to find the facts, but I asked myself when would I stop? The killing doesn’t stop. You watch your TV every night, and you see how often it happens. But yet we are not severe enough when it comes to punishing these woman, so it keeps happening. But then we have to ask ourselves, what would be severe enough? We all have our opinions about that, stone till death, or give them a second chance to improve themselves. However, will the lives that were taken ever get a second chance? NO!


In America we have children dying and no one doing enough about it. We look past the warning signs. We ignore it if it is not our family. Everyone is too busy to deal with things, so we walk away. We medicate woman who say, “they can’t take it anymore.” We think that a tiny pill will make them all better. No, it won’t! What these woman need is a break, if your sister, wife, friend, girlfriend or co-worker says that they can’t take it anymore, don’t ignore them! Offer to make them dinner or to watch the kids while they get a bath. How hard is it to give up a few hours of your life to help someone else? Wouldn’t you want someone to do it for you if you were in there shoes? If you don’t have anyone, call your local church and ask for help. They will help. If you don’t want to call on a friend, find someone before you break.


When are we going to take a look at what we are doing to our innocent children, and how we are hurting our future? By killing your child you might think it is the only way to end the endless stresses of life, the endless responsibilities, but in the end it won’t. You will still have to work, make dinner and clean your house, just with out the love of your offspring.


There is help out there for woman who need a break. You can drop your infants off at the local hospital without question, and walk away, and give that child a chance to be adopted by someone who wants a child. Hell-drop them off at my house! Look me up, and I will make sure that they have a happy life.


There are programs for mothers who need help taking care of the cost of living. There are counseling services that you can get for free. I know that if you give up your child, no matter what age you are, you will feel guilt, but would that guilt be greater then the guilt you will feel if you murder them?


We need to take a stand and help the next victim. When are we going to quit taking away the unicorns and the rainbows from the innocent? Keep in mind that I am just a stay at home mother who one day heard a story on-line and couldn’t be quiet anymore.


The links below are where I got all my information from and also some of the links are where you can get help. Please, I beg, and so do the children out there, Help make this stop.


These are some of the websites that I got all the information from:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/yates/
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/women/andrea_yates/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Smith
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/famous/smith/index_1.html
http://www.cnn.com/EVENTS/year_in_review/us/smith.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_Drexler
http://www.karisable.com/drexler.htm
http://www.cnn.com/US/9808/20/prom.birth.02/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Grossberg_and_Brian_Peterson
http://www.courttv.com/archive/trials/grossberg/070998.html
http://www.karisable.com/amybrian.htm
http://www.cnn.com/US/9807/09/infant.death.sentence.02/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debora_Green
http://www.pitch.com/photoGallery/index.php?c=577&p=1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_Drexler
http://www.karisable.com/drexler.htm
http://www.cnn.com/US/9808/20/prom.birth.02/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marybeth_Tinning
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/women/marybeth_tinning/index.html
http://www.karisable.com/tinning.htm
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/famous/downs/index_1.html
http://www.karisable.com/ddowns.htm
www.injersey.com/news/prom
I have tried to list below a few links of places that you might be able to find help.
http://www.redcross.org/
Houston Texas
http://www.geocities.com/tbranch6425/Savings4Families
http://www.childinfamily.us/
http://www.hhsc.state.tx.us/
http://www.childwelfare.com/texas.htm
South Carolina
http://www.scchildandfamily.org/
http://www.fsconline.org/
http://www.state.sc.us/dss/fv/
New Jersey
http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/children.html
http://www.state.nj.us/nj/govinfo/njgov/alphaserv.html
http://www.nj-counseling.org/
New York
http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/
http://assembly.state.ny.us/comm/Children/20011016/htmldoc.html
http://www.health.state.ny.us/community/infants_children/early_intervention/parents_guide/docs/parents_guide.pdf
Oregon
http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/dd/children/family_supports.shtml
http://cfc.uoregon.edu/services.htm
http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/children/index.shtml
Ohio
http://jfs.ohio.gov/
http://www.ohiohelpmegrow.org/
MORE LINKS:
Prevent Child Abuse America
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/index.shtml
Child Welfare Information Gateway (formerly National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse & Neglect)
http://www.childwelfare.gov/
Child Help USA
http://www.childhelpusa.org/
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
http://www.missingkids.com/
24-Hour Hotline 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
National Children's Alliance
http://www.nca-online.org/
Ohio Network of Children's Advocacy Centers
http://www.oncac.org/
Ohio Help Me Grow
http://www.ohiohelpmegrow.org/
Public Children Services Association of Ohio
http://www.pcsao.org/
The Center For Effective Discipline
http://www.stophitting.org/
Health e-Hints
http://www.columbuschildrens.com/
National Center of Shaken Baby Syndrome
http://www.dontshake.com/
Shaken Baby Alliance
http://www.shakenbaby.com/
ChildAbuse.org
http://www.childabuse.org/
Parents Anonymous
http://www.parentsanonymous.org/
American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children
http://apsac.fmhi.usf.edu/
International Society for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect
http://www.ispcan.org/