Thought's of the moment.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

"Soloman's Blog!"


The ride to get Soloman was so long, not sure if it really was because it was a long drive or because I was just that excited! The city it self was an experience I will never forget!
We finally arrived to meet him and I saw him standing in the window with Kristin and my first thought, and I kid you not was, “ Oh I can’t wait to kiss him!” It was like seeing one of my children for the first time in a long time. My husband didn't have the pleasure of seeing him through the window so of course I am screaming at him with excitement that he is, “So big, so glorious, Honey I love him!” Mean -while my husband is trying to park! When I walked in the door and I met him for the first time I knew that this would work deep down in my heart! He was so beautiful and well behaved, and yes I got my kiss right away smack dab on his forehead.
It was so nice sitting around with Kristin and her getting to know us as a family. I am blessed to have this family God gave me and that includes my dogs.
Soloman instantly took to Mike, which didn’t surprise me, we used to call him the dog whisperer. He played with Mike and gave him a high five, he sat, and gave paw. I could tell he was prefect with in the first few minutes of meeting him!
You know the feeling you get when you bring your child home for the first time from the hospital? You sit by them, you make sure the driver does the speed limit , you’re an extra pair of eyes they don’t need and so forth. That was me on the way home. I was so worried that the road was too bumpy or that we were going too fast, or the car next to us was too close.
We stopped at a rest stop and Soloman loves to get in and out of cars. He just jumped right out and off we went, and I really mean off. BOY he is strong. Maybe this will help keep me fit , I thought. The seven hour drive home was fun. That last half hour of course felt like forever. We arrived home around 2:30 am and now we had the chore of introducing two dogs that are pretty big too each other so that we can get some shut eye!
Mike took Soloman outside and walked the yard with him, while I went in and loved on my baby girl “Dana,” whom now looks like a large Lab to me because she is so short! Dana right away smells something on me and won’t stop sniffing. It seemed like Christmas morning for her she was so excited.
Mike and Soloman were outside in our Pole barn, (since there is a light in there and it is two in the morning we decided that would be a good place to introduce them!) I took Dana outside and opened that door and oh boy Soloman jumped and was wagging his tail and Dana jumped and barked and was wagging her tail. They wanted each other so bad right away. I have to say that the introduction went so well. They sniffed ,stood tall when needed and most importantly they listened to Mike and I. We wanted them to calm down so we thought that we would lay with them on the ground in the pole barn, (mind you it is gravel) and well Soloman wasn’t too sure of it. He didn’t want to put his body all the way down. That’s how Dana gets sometimes too. She doesn’t want her back end to touch the ground it is so funny. All went well and then we brought them into the house and their again was no problems. They sniffed and walked around. Soloman doesn’t like my living room too much but I think the couch scares him, ( it is a wrap-a-round) I am going to move it to the other wall for them to have more room to play. By now it’s going on four in the morning so we put Dana in her crate or she will have accidents in the house and we bring Soloman up stairs with us to sleep. Surprisingly there was no whining like when you bring home a puppy for the first time. I think at this point we were all really, really tired.
We all had a few hours of sleep and were up again by eight. We had to get ready to show Soloman off to everyone. We took them outside and they had so much fun and did so good. Not once has there been growling at each other. Not once has either one of them gotten mad about anything.
Our kids were not home yet so we decided it was time to take him to the pet store. Everybody there knows us from bringing Dana in and it is right up town. It was nice and he had fun looking around. We then went out to Chesterland and then we went to Mike’s work to show off Soloman who loved the car ride.
Mikes boss is not a big guy and he couldn’t believe how big he was. We introduced him to everyone there and then we went to my work. By this time I have already received at least three text s asking, “When are you going to get her?” (Invisible Fence)
Now Luke, my one manager doesn’t like big dogs. He is highly afraid of them, and has only touched Dana once and that was very hard for him. Everyone’s mouth dropped when I came in the office, it was kind of funny because most of them were on the phone so they couldn’t say what they were thinking. Everyone their had to love on him and pet him and comment on how well behaved he is. (Which he is, he listens better than my kid s do sometimes!) I wasn’t able to show him to Jack . He wasn’t in the office ,but I am going to take him to work with me one day this week soon!
Now we headed home because my Best Friend , ( Heather, who has five kids) is coming over to bring my kids home to meet Soloman . Heather and her family are always at our house and we go there all the time. We are family. We walked Soloman and Dana around the yard for a little bit and worked on heel and sit when walking and they did great together. Soloman is so funny he would look at Dana and then turn around and walk away. I am not sure if he is afraid of the grass or if his feet hurt him.
Heather arrived with my three kids, Haleigh 10, Patrick 8 and Emily 5 along with her five kids. Liana 10, Tyler 9, Mason 8, Joey 7 and Blake 5! Yep that’s our gang! The kids were screaming the minute they pulled into the driveway. All the way down our driveway I could hear them. (our drive way sits 650 ft off the road!) Dana is going crazy at this point because she loves Heather and her husband Dan. It was so cute when Heather parked the Van and Dan parked our van all the kids jumped out like they saw a spider or something in the van. Soloman was at Heather’s door to greet her right away . Soloman did get a little scared when he was approached by the kids but it wasn’t anything he didn’t overcome real quick when he realized that they all wanted to love on him. The kids did so good we introduced them one by one and they said, “ Hi” and they were loving on him.
I had to leave and take my son to the Doctor, and it took everything I had to leave Soloman home with my husband Mike and our friend Dan.. By now both Dana and Soloman are getting a long on leash and they are listening to us with out any problems, so I knew that it was just a matter of time before they got to play. Mike introduced Soloman to the Invisible Fence after flagging the yard. It went good. He only got one correction. At first he stayed really close to us and the house. Then he started to realize that Dana runs all around the yard why can’t he. He got to play with so many dogs. My brother -in-law has a Jack Russell and he had his dog over and they played. My friend Heather went home and got her dogs. She has a boxer and a Boston Terrier. They came down to meet Soloman and play and run around the yard. It was so cute watching these dogs play last night. They were so happy. The kids loved it too. The older girls want to learn how to take the Dane’s for a walk and I told them that in time they will be able to.
So I wanted to do this right. I didn’t want to mess up and anyone that knows me knows that everything has to be prefect , again. I have a little bit of O.C.D. So I wanted Lindsay to be the one to tell me that the dogs were doing great. Even though around 2 o’clock I could see for myself, but I still needed someone professional to tell me.
Lindsay was kind enough to come over (9-4-09). When she got there we were all playing and all the dogs were happy. Lindsay did a little bit of heel work and auto sit with Soloman. We did some leash work and worked with Dana and Soloman. Lindsay confirmed what I already knew that they would be just fine.
Jack (again my brother-in-laws dog) was also outside so she worked a little with him and Hobbs whom is Heathers Boston. It was an awesome night so much playing and having a good time. I am usually cleaning all the time or organizing things in the house. It’s an obsession I have. It was really weird last night because I didn’t worry about any of that stuff. I was having so much fun! When the adults finally sat down to have dinner around 9, both Soloman and Dana laid on their beds and slept. The kids would come in and pet them and then go back into the living room. It is funny with Soloman he is so tall that his nose can reach the back of my counter tops. I am not used to that and the pictures that I have on here don’t show or justify how large he is.
The kids all passed out in random spots in the house; Patrick sitting up on the couch and the girls half in and out of their beds. Everyone was so pooped.
It was really cute, when everybody started to leave. Soloman wasn’t sure whom he was staying with at first. He is a follower and follows Mike everywhere he goes. Mike was in the shower and I think Soloman thought that he had left. Everybody left so I took the dogs outside for a walk. They didn’t want to play they walked around the yard and sniffed everything and went potty. I am amazed at how well they are getting along. We went back in after a half hour of walking around and I put Dana to sleep and thought I would try to see if Soloman would sleep downstairs. I am not sure where he is used to sleeping.
Mike went upstairs and then I went up stairs and before I was all the way up we hear this big pitiful whine and bark. Remind you this is the first time I have heard him actually bark. He hasn’t barked back at Dana or anyone coming into the driveway. It was the cutest thing. Of course my heart melted and Soloman and his big comfy bed came up to my room where he slept. We slept in peace, until Emily went into the bathroom. It was really cute, she was going potty and of course since she is five she left the door open and he went to the door and looked at her and whined. I think he wanted to know what she was doing. I got up and had to guide him back into our room where he went right back to sleep. ( The next morning Emily says to me, “Mom the new dog came and checked on me last night and he is so big!”)
This morning we woke up early, I actually got out of bed in a good mood, (normally I am not a morning person) I couldn’t wait to get outside with the dogs! I turned the coffee pot on and grabbed the leashes and off we went!
It’s almost like they knew that they had to go potty first and then they could play. Soloman did so good he went potty and then he and Dana played for about a half hour outside just playing and romping around! I put Dana’s leash on her and she came into the house and I couldn’t get Soloman to come in he just stood there looking at me. I am not sure if he had a command that he followed or ritual (such as wiping his feet, taking collars off please let me know of anything that would help me!)
I took them in and showed them each their food and made sure that they weren’t going to bother each other (we are working on this with our dog.) they were perfect. Soloman ate and he even got Dana to eat her food which half the time she doesn’t like it without wet food. They ate and did a great job laying down for a good 45 min afterwards. I didn’t want to upset their tummies and they laid there like the two wonderful dogs that they are.
Emily was the only one awake and she was downstairs eating her breakfast while I went up stairs to get dressed. All of a sudden I hear, “Mom they are fighting” just as you, who is reading this is scared, I was for a minute, however I didn’t hear any barking or growling. So I calmly went down stairs and I find Emily in the corner with big tears in her eyes and two dogs looking at her. So you can breathe again and relax they were not fighting they were playing and she scared them because she yelled for me. It was so pitiful I didn’t know who to feel bad for more. So I picked Emily up and showed her that they wanted to play and she was laughing by the time I finished telling her she was all better. Now I didn’t mean to scare any of you just wanted you to see it from a 5 year olds stand point. Soloman is almost as tall as her and Dana loves to sit on her. It was such a cute moment, kind of like when you see the dogs pulling the diapers down when the baby is walking.
I then let Dana outside to burn some of her energy, she reminds me of an ADHD child who doesn’t sit still! I was able to get ready this time, I think I might give myself more time in the morning and take them for walks down the power lines (it’s a good mile, I live right next to them) Grandma (Marion) who lives next door comes over every morning to give Dana a treat and she came over and Dana ran up to her waiting for it and Soloman caught right on and they had a treat and got some more loving.
I had to go to work today and since I have been spending a lot of time with Soloman I decided that I better spend some time with Dana. So I decided that she would be who I took to work with me. The kids went with my friend Sandra to her house and Grandma went up town and Dana and I went to work. Soloman was sleeping at home. While I was at work I felt like a mother that goes back to work for the first time after having a baby. I was so worried about Soloman, I didn’t want him to think that we left him. Luckily I have a wonderful mother-in-law who when she got home let Soloman outside for me and left the door open and he was free to roam while she did the weed eating, she even called me at work to let me know that he was doing just fine. My mother-in-law said that he would come outside and look at her and then go back in and lay down. She gave Soloman a rawhide bone to chew on, Marion said he would toss it up in the air, step on it and even put it in his mouth and drop it, however he wouldn’t chew on it. That is until we pulled in and Dana got out that he wanted it!
Meanwhile Dana is pooped she was sleeping next to me at work all day. Its a great feeling when you know that your kids and your dogs are happy.
I went into this not knowing how well Dana would do, but I also knew that Dana needed a friend. Who wants to go through all their life without someone special in it to play with? I looked into this and right away as soon as I read the first e-mail about Soloman I knew that it was meant to be.
Tonight we are introducing Soloman to the four wheelers, we have three to ride around on out here. I am hoping that he does not get scared by them. They can be noisy at times. He didn't really care to much, he was in the house though. Tonight feeding time went great. Today was a good day!

I will write more in the days to come but I wanted to share this with all of you! I am so grateful that I was chosen to help in your time of need. I will Cherish Soloman just like I do anyone else in our family.

I look forward to writing more!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Stop Killing Children!

© 2007 Jennifer Toothman-All Rights Reserved
Edited by My Mom-Susan Maree Jeavons
I am a mother of three beautiful, wonderful children. They are eight, six and three. They are my joys, my hope, and my inspiration in life. I am a stay-at-home mother who has worked before, many long hours. Now I struggle to find a job, along with the other struggles of life. You know, keeping everyone in your home happy. Life is hectic, making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be, checking homework, fixing meals, bringing the goldfish back to life, doing the laundry and trying to find time to say "Hi," to the man you fell in love with and had these children with. So when I tuck my kids in at night and kiss them good night, I do this with great love and hope that they dream of unicorns, rainbows, and happy endings. Once the kids are in bed, I get to watch the TV. When I sit down and hear that yet another mother has killed her babies, I wonder, "How could a mother do this? How could she look into the eyes of her babies and see the life leave them. What brings her to this?"

Just a few days ago in Cleveland, a mother of two was arrested for allegedly killing her two beautiful children by drowning them. Amber Hill, 22, of Cleveland, was a mother just like I am. She had the pressures of life on her plate; work, kids, school and keeping food on the table. What made her take the life of her kids though? Name one mother out there who doesn’t have these stresses, then I will think that it is normal.

Society has allowed it to become normal because, what do we do to these woman? Nothing! We let them plead to insanity, and often give them the bare minimum punishment. What about the life that was taken that no longer has a voice? Who is going to speak out for them?

We have all heard about Andrea Yates, a 37-year-old mother from Houston, Texas who was charged in 2001 for the drowning of seven-year-old Noah, Five-year-old John and six-month-old Mary, three of five of her children. She was for some reason or another, not charged in the drowning of her other two children, three- year-old Luke, and two-year-old Paul. I read an article that stated that she is a fan of Law and Order, and might have been influenced by the show. That is amazing because that is one show that I do not miss. I love this show, so does that mean that at 28-years-old I can’t tell what is the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do? Andrea was a mother who home-schooled her children, thus, she knows that one of the first thing a kindergartner needs to be aware of, is that some things are fiction and some are nonfiction.

We need to teach our children that not all things in life are real, like the unicorns that I want my girls to dream of. To instill this into our children then we must have it in us. We no longer believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny. We know that these are imaginary.

Andrea Yates sentence has been overturned recently due to testimonies. What about the fact that she confessed to these murders? Do we just forget about the children here who have died?

What about the story of Susan Smith, 23, of South Carolina who drowned her two children, three-year-old Michael Daniel Smith, and fourteen-month-old Alexander Tyler Smith? Susan was in the middle of a divorce, and also her boyfriend had just rejected her. She wanted to be relieved from all the stresses of life that overwhelmed her. Her plan was to commit suicide. She felt that the boys would be worse if she didn’t kill them also. For some reason though, something changed at the last minute when she got out of the car and let her boys life go down. She did the unthinkable act. She watched as her babies drowned.

What did society do about this? She got life in prison which is 30 years. She can get out in the year 2024. Both of those children could have lived longer than that. Life to her was so bad that she didn’t want her babies to suffer anymore, so she ended it for them, but to her, her life was not bad enough to end it for her self. That is the most selfish act, to take someone’s life because you don’t think that they should suffer. Were those two little children suffering or were they dreaming of rainbows and unicorns at night?

So now I sit here perplexed as I think of these mothers, and I think how many more are there, what about the ones that we don’t really hear about on the news? There was Mellissa Drexler, often called, “ The Prom mom,” born in 1978 and went to Lacey High School in New Jersey. She was just eighteen and on the day of her senior prom, her water broke. For some reason her reaction was to deliver the baby boy weighing 6lbs. 6oz in the toilet and then proceed to wrap him in garbage bags and throw him away, as if he was garbage.

What made this young girl feel that she could not confide in anyone to seek help? Why is it that we can tell our children not to do things that might harm them, or do things they will regret, but if they do them we don’t make it clear to them to come to us and to talk to us so that together we will work through this? That is what a parent is supposed to do and that is what we are there for. Should a nineteen-year-old girl know what the right thing is to do here? Should motherly instincts kick in no matter how old you are, and should you know not to harm this life that you just brought into this world regardless of your age?
Mellissa was sentenced to only 15 years but was released after only 37 months on parole in 2001. That means that the innocent child that died here was only worth a sentence of 37 months. This is not even equivalent to half of what he could have lived in his life time. Mellissa was released at the young age of 23. She still has so much life out there for her. I have read that she hopes to work in the industry of fashion. Do you think that Melissa ever thought of what her son wanted to grow up to do? At what age does a mother have to become a mother and think not only about the stress that she is going through, but also the stress she is causing her child when she decides to take the life out of there bodies? When will society decide that these woman need to suffer more then they are?

What about Amy Grossberg and Brian Peterson? They received 8 year sentences. Amy had all but two and a half suspended, and Brian had six years suspended. Together they hid the pregnancy from their family at the young age of 18, and delivered their child in a Comfort Inn in Wyckoff, New Jersey, and in a panic, disposed of their baby boy in the motel dumpster. Between the two of these parents, they serviced four and half years for killing an innocent child. Later it was proven that the young boy was delivered alive, and his cause of death was pronounced to be head fractures and shaken baby syndrome. This autopsy proves to me that thought went into the killing of this young child. To shake a baby to death, it takes a lot of time and force. This is when I ask myself, "Why didn’t she stop?"

There are more out there. The more I read, the more I found it is so sad, and the truth is that I haven’t even touched the number of mothers who have killed there young children. That is what is sad. What makes them get reported on-line or on air? Why do we only hear of a few of the cases in our home towns? Why are they not all reported publicly? Who gets to decide which baby is worth honoring and making a story out of?

We then go on to write books, and make movies about these mothers who have done these horrible, unthinkable, life changing crimes. There should be no public sympathy for these woman! We should not feel sorry for the time they lost while in prison. We should think about the time they took away from another life.

There was also Debora Green, an Oncologist living in Prairie Village, Kansas who at the time, was about 44 and had murdered two of her children, Kelly who was 6, and Tim who was 13, by setting fire to her house on October 24th of 1995. She received life imprisonment with a minimum of 40 years before parole. That means she is up for parole in 2035. She will be around 84 years old. I am sure that she has great remorse for what she has caused, but has she thought about those who were also effected. Survivors’ were her husband at the time and her other child, Kate. How does a child grow up with a mother who killed her siblings, and be expected to make it in this world? Do you think that they will ever be able to have a normal life and have a mother-daughter experience, as if nothing ever happened? Green says that SHE wants justice, and would like to "spend time with her surviving daughter Kate." She says she wants a chance to get a job and support herself, and that "things" and the "lifestyle she once had," don't matter after being in prison.

Is it only me who thinks, "What about the child here? Will they ever get the chance to get a job? No they won’t. She took that from them."

What about Kate, does this woman think that Kate wants anything to do with the woman who killed her siblings? Justice? Justice would be to serve her time in prison, but she didn't even get enough time, life with minimum of 40 years before parole! That was two lives who lived a short period that will never even get to see there 40th birthday.

In Schenectady, New York, over a period of fourteen years, Marybeth Tinning, 43, a housewife and school bus driver, lost nine children to sudden death. Jennifer, their third child, was born in December of 1971. Not even one month later she died of severe infection of meningitis. Joseph Jr. died on January 29th of 1972. Doctors were told that he had some kind of seizure and was found in his bed tangled in sheets and blue. Six weeks later Marybeth was back in the hospital with Barbara who was four at the time. She said she had gone into convulsions. Doctors wanted Barbara to stay at the hospital but Marybeth insisted on taking her home. It was several hours later that Barbara died of unknown causes and was listed as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).These three children all died with in 90 days of each other and no one ever thought anything about it, and the story goes on. Thanksgiving day, 1973, the fourth child, Timothy, was born in to this world. Three weeks later, December tenth, he was found lifeless in his crib, and again listed as SIDS. Just two years later, March 30th 1975, Marybeth’s fifth child Nathan was born. On September the 2nd she took him to the hospital yet again, because while driving she said she noticed he had turned blue and was not breathing. There was no explanation for his death. In 1978 the couple was able to adopt a child, and they also became pregnant again. Marybeth gave birth to their sixth child Mary Francis, on October 29th. On February 20th Marybeth went to the hospital again with a unconscious child whom doctors found brain dead. She claimed that she did not know what had happened to her. Mary Francis had a history of seizures. Not letting anytime slip by, Marybeth was pregnant again and gave birth to their 7th child Jonathan, on November 19th. Marybeth was blessed again with another baby boy. After going to the hospital many times and being examined, there was no reason why the baby had been found unconscious before. But on March 24th 1980 he was brought into the hospital brain dead. You do the math here. March 2 1981 Marybeth was in the pediatrician’s office with her adopted son Michael who was only two and half at the time, wrapped in a blanket and unconscious. She told doctors she could not wake him. After examining the child, the doctors found he was already dead. August 22nd 1985 her other child, Tamie Lynn was born. She died on December 19th 1985. Found on a changing room table by a neighbor who was a nurse, this little bundle of joy was lifeless with no pulse.

When I first read this story it took two days for me to realize what I was reading. One mother, nine babies, all died in her care. Marybeth was alone with her children. She was a housewife. I can’t imagine the struggles a mother faces with nine children. But when you are in and out of the same hospital as much as Marybeth was, why didn’t anyone notice this pattern? Why did it take one adopted little innocent boy to make someone realize it was not a genetic disorder that might have cause these deaths? After what I am sure was a long interrogation, Marybeth confessed to smothering three of her children. On July 17th, 1987, Marybeth was convicted of 2nd degree murder and was sentenced to 20 years to life imprisonment in the Bedford Hills prison for woman in New York. Marybeth was eligible for parole in March of 2007, her parole was later denied.

There are more mothers out there that have killed. Some have even gotten away with it. I could go on and write more, give you more names and try to find the facts, but I asked myself when would I stop? The killing doesn’t stop. You watch your TV every night, and you see how often it happens. But yet we are not severe enough when it comes to punishing these woman, so it keeps happening. But then we have to ask ourselves, what would be severe enough? We all have our opinions about that, stone till death, or give them a second chance to improve themselves. However, will the lives that were taken ever get a second chance? NO!

In America we have children dying and no one doing enough about it. We look past the warning signs. We ignore it if it is not our family. Everyone is too busy to deal with things, so we walk away. We medicate woman who say, “they can’t take it anymore.” We think that a tiny pill will make them all better. No, it won’t! What these woman need is a break, if your sister, wife, friend, girlfriend or co-worker says that they can’t take it anymore, don’t ignore them! Offer to make them dinner or to watch the kids while they get a bath. How hard is it to give up a few hours of your life to help someone else? Wouldn’t you want someone to do it for you if you were in there shoes? If you don’t have anyone, call your local church and ask for help. They will help. If you don’t want to call on a friend, find someone before you break.

When are we going to take a look at what we are doing to our innocent children, and how we are hurting our future? By killing your child you might think it is the only way to end the endless stresses of life, the endless responsibilities, but in the end it won’t. You will still have to work, make dinner and clean your house, just with out the love of your offspring.

There is help out there for woman who need a break. You can drop your infants off at the local hospital without question, and walk away, and give that child a chance to be adopted by someone who wants a child. Hell-drop them off at my house! Look me up, and I will make sure that they have a happy life.

There are programs for mothers who need help taking care of the cost of living. There are counseling services that you can get for free. I know that if you give up your child, no matter what age you are, you will feel guilt, but would that guilt be greater then the guilt you will feel if you murder them?

We need to take a stand and help the next victim. When are we going to quit taking away the unicorns and the rainbows from the innocent? Keep in mind that I am just a stay at home mother who one day heard a story on-line and couldn’t be quiet anymore.

The links below are where I got all my information from and also some of the links are where you can get help. Please, I beg, and so do the children out there, Help make this stop.

These are some of the websites that I got all the information from:
I have tried to list below a few links of places that you might be able to find help.
Houston Texas
South Carolina
New Jersey
New York
Prevent Child Abuse America
Child Welfare Information Gateway (formerly National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse & Neglect)
Child Help USA
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
24-Hour Hotline 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
National Children's Alliance
Ohio Network of Children's Advocacy Centers
Ohio Help Me Grow
Public Children Services Association of Ohio
The Center For Effective Discipline
Health e-Hints
National Center of Shaken Baby Syndrome
Shaken Baby Alliance
Parents Anonymous
American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children
International Society for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect